One of the biggest traits of being human is that we feel. We feel different emotions at different time intervals. Sometimes, we are happy, sometimes we are sad. And I think it is ok. The good part is that you are aware that you are sad. Society doesn’t care about it. People first create a scenario that hampers your happiness and then say why are you sad. A perfect Kabir is saying that:
Dukh Me Sumiran Sab Kare, Sukh Me Kare Na Koi
Sukh Me Sumiran Sab Kare, Toh DUkh Kahe Ko Hoi
It means everybody remembers others at times of sadness, not in happiness. If they remember others in happiness then sadness will not happen. I learned this couplet in my 4th grade, and I still remember it.
In life, I have observed that people encourage negative feelings rather than positive feelings. You can also check it, when everything is going well then people around are the ones who are either jealous or feel not good about it. It is very hard for people to understand the positive way of living.
My point is you might also have seen that a person who tells sad stories gets more people’s sympathy people don’t try to make him/her sad. Sad stories are seen by more people than happy stories. That is why our newspapers, reality shows, and news bulletins all are filled with sadness only. Even your leaders try to get people’s sympathy even being the most powerful man in the country.
I call it, negative encouragement. People appreciate those stories where people have defeated depression or drug addiction and other similar stories. However, they are not able to understand stories where people live in such a discipline that they don’t fall into drug addiction in the first case. Do you also get confused? Yeah, it happens.
People find motivation from those people who have beaten the odds but it is hard for us to comprehend success can be achieved without ultimate struggle. Most of the people in the world who are successful have such stories but those are not inspiring. It is said that meditation’s end goal is peace but my finding is that you have to be at peace first to start your meditation.
All I want to say is if you want people in your social circle to be happy then encourage happiness by incentivizing the happiness. Incentivising means, if your children are happy then give your time/attention more, kiss them more, hug them more, buy something for them or increase their happiness. It will give them a signal that if you are happy then you become more happy.
But if he/she is sad then just help them don’t incentivize it. If you incentivize at bad times then children feel that being sad gives them your attention and love, so it is better to be sad than happy.
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